


The Name of the Game

by friendsofthemusain24601



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Listen I know demons don't have hearts but Crowley does in this okay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 15:51:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19444636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendsofthemusain24601/pseuds/friendsofthemusain24601
Summary: The name of the game is undiagnosed anxiety, not that Aziraphale would ever realize it. Luckily he didn't have to, with Crowley by his side to help.I.e. Az is having trouble with the Great Flood and Crowley makes it better.





	The Name of the Game

Angels didn’t have the luxury of nifty diagnoses such as humans did. Had such a thing existed, it would have been entirely too obvious that Aziraphale suffered from an anxiety disorder, and that there were simple and healthy ways for him to cope. If he was so lucky as to learn of this diagnosis earlier on in life, or really at any point after he mightn’t have been quite so hard on himself, but unfortunately for the angel that was not the case. Although he never would learn the word for why he felt these ways, over time he did unintentionally find a way of coping. Crowley. 

For better or for worse the demon was always there to lend a helping hand, adding snark where he could to disguise what was so obvious. He cared. Something a demon could get into quite a lot of trouble for, what’s worse he cared for an angel, and the angel knew it- although granted, not to the full extent. Over the years something switched, and instead of dealing with whatever IT was, he suddenly found himself gravitating towards the demon in times of need. 

This was certainly such a time, God had decided her creatures were unfit to live and her wrath was ineffable. Privately Aziraphale couldn’t stand it, the entire business of wiping out the majority of the human race by drowning everybody? Christ, his palms were clammy at the thought. He needed to keep it together though, it wasn’t his place to question God’s doing, yet as the giggling children ran around he thought he was going to throw up. They were going to die, all of them. Innocent KIDS, he- Aziraphale gulped for air, trying to steady his shaking limbs as if hope was enough for them to obey him. 

By some force stronger than Heaven or Hell combined, the very person he sought comfort from showed up. Unsurprisingly, Crowley had the same concerns Aziraphale himself had, but he couldn’t exactly disparage God, now could he? 

“They’re going to DROWN everyone else?” The demon inquired, shock dripping from every syllable. “Well that’s sort of the thing you’d expect my lot to do.” He looked around, observing the locals in their blissful unawareness when a dark realization dawned upon him. “The kids? You can’t kill kids…” at the tight nod from the angel he was horrified to learn that that was exactly god’s plan, and there was no way Aziraphale was okay with that in the slightest. 

“Angel,” Crowley softly stated, “Let’s get out of here. There’s nothing you can do for them, and staying isn’t going to make this any easier.” 

Aziraphale was all taut muscles and tight lines, entire body fraut with anxiety, but he nodded again sharply and shuffled closer to the demon who promptly miracled them into comfort and safety. This was long before the time of the bookshop, back when Aziraphale had his own shack in Mesopotamia, before… the rapidly approaching flood. This haven was where Crowley sent them both now, knowing his angel could use any comfort he could get. 

For his part Aziraphale played along silently, arriving inside and being entirely receptive to Crowley’s words and doings, he was much too out of it to be in any real control of himself. It was safe to assume he only would allow this level of vulnerability with Crowley who would never abuse the privilege of his trust. 

“Come on angel, it’s okay.” he eased him into a seated position, crouching down beside him. “It’s alright, you couldn’t have done anything. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Distress flared up in his eyes, “B-but the CHILDREN,” he stammered out, hands shaking mercilessly. Had it been the first occasion for this comforting, Crowley would have been much more reluctant to breach the distance between the two, but fortunately they had a tried and true method of calming Aziraphale down by now. He carefully took his hand, thumb skimming back and forth against his palm. They learned long ago that a combination of reassuring words, paired with physical contact was quick to console him.

“You had nothing to do with it. I don’t like it any more than you do, but believe me angel, this wasn’t your fault.” Guilt seeped out of the other man, who attempted to curl in on himself. “Hey, hey none of that. May I join you up there?” 

He nodded a third time, words being too trying for the time being. In a heartbeat Crowley was at his side, wrapping one arm slowly around him, so he could move if he chose to do so. 

“Shhhhh it’s alright angel, everything is going to be alright.” and that was IT. Those gentle words paired with the careful arm around him- it broke him. Aziraphale turned into Crowley and clung to him desperately, brokenly sobbing. 

“It’s n-not, everyone is going to die.” 

Crowley hummed in acknowledgement, pulling the angel onto his lap and holding him tightly. “I know. Shhhhh, best not to think about it pet.” He stroked through his hair consolingly as Aziraphale sniffled incessantly for minutes at a time. 

Eventually, with Crowley’s heartbeat as a steady rhythm beneath his head Aziraphale’s cries ceased and he relaxed against the demon’s chest, matching his breathing. “Everything is going to be alright angel.” he murmured into his hair. 

He wanted to believe him, and so he tried. Crowley rubbed slow circles on his back, never loosening his hold, the entire point was to comfort his angel and he was going to do just that. “I know you’re not a fan of sleep, but perhaps you should try? Wake up when it’s all over.” he suggested. 

Aziraphale nodded weakly, settling down on top of him and focusing intently on the sounds of his demon’s breath. If he focused hard enough perhaps he could keep out the screams from the outside world. Little did he know through a demonic miracle of his own Crowley would ascertain that his love didn’t hear one single thing, blessedly sleeping soundly until the next morning. They both knew not everything was fixed, far from it, but for now Aziraphale could rest under the safe and caring gaze of his demon.


End file.
